DEPARTMENT OF MOTHERLAND SECURITY MAKES $14 GRANT TO SOVIET TOOTHBRUSH; ST SECURITY TEAM ACQUIRES PRICELESS SLAVIC FIGHTING STICKS BLESSED BY RASPUTIN AND USED IN BATTLE OF STALINGRAD TO BEAT BACK NAZIS

Posted: 17 May 2011 by leonitbrushnev in Uncategorized

The Chief of Security for Soviet Toothbrush, Leonit Brushnev, has announced that the ST Security Team has received a major grant from The Department of Motherland Security to buy OFFICIAL SECURITY t-shirts and legendary Slavic Fighting Sticks.  Matching stylish helmets have been donated by Underground Fellow Travelers.  With the motto of “We serve and protect Soviet Toothbrush,” the ST Security Team is only now, on the last stop of the Soviet Toothbrush Internationale Gingivitis 7-Continent World Tour, finally getting it together.  But this ensures that the band’s last performance at the Longest Fri-Day Party in Downers Grove, ILL, will go without a hitch, disturbance or out-of-control rioting.  Comrade Leonit assures guests “It will be peaceful event. Have no fear.”  Soviet Toothbrush’s totally fantastic fan base is rumored to be converging on the Downer’s Grove office of Mosquito Communications for the Friday, June 17th final performance of the band whose music has been described as “Undescribable.”

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