Soviet Toothbrush Security Chief Leonit Brushnev wins Gold Axe Award from International Association of Backyard LumberJacks

Posted: 18 July 2011 by leonitbrushnev in Uncategorized

Comrade Leonit Brushnev, Security Chief of Soviet Toothbrush, poses with his prize-winning "world's largest toothpick," shortly before his arrest on criminal trespass and felony property damage charges.

Chicago  Reuters –   Leonit Brushnev, infamous security chief of the world’s most obscure band, Soviet Toothbrush, announced that his successful felling of a 60 feet tall, 100 year old pine tree in the 500 square foot backyard in a western suburb of Chicago has earned him the coveted Gold Axe awarded once a year to the Most Accomplished Backyard Lumberjack in the World. Comrade Brushnev, as he prefers to be called, was able to place the two ton, 20 yard long piece of wood in between four garages.  This was achieved with virtually no damage except to the gutter of a garage and the deck gazebo that was crushed beyond recognition.  The names of the property owners have been withheld at their request while legal action is pending.  The International Association of Backyard LumberJacks has affiliates in 18 metropolitan areas and is dedicated to demonstrating in America’s cities and suburbs what the loggers on the cable TV reality shows do in the wilderness regions of the US.  “Is educational for pasty white proletariat in cities,” says Comrade Brushnev.

The International Association of Backyard LumberJacks is in no way affiliated or connected with the League of Urban Loggers, The Loyal Order of Suburban Forest Defilers or the YWCA.

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Comments
  1. Leonit’s a lumberjack, and he’s OK? 🙂

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