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Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
NEW! Dr. Anthony Fauci introduces the PlagueDoctor brand of Personal Protective Equipment; advanced face masks designed by “caring government scientists”; Congress will mandate all citizens must wear — indoors and out; Rev. Al Sharpton declares “[Fauci Facemasks] could help fight racism”
Posted: 31 July 2020 by leonitbrushnev in Uncategorized2
FUTURE NEWS Oct. 29, 2029: Economic crash smacks Wall Street as face mask sales dive 98%; Covid 27 finally defeated with mass immunizations and 12 feet social distancing; grandparents finally see faces of grandchildren for first time in 9 years; some good news — bars are finally freed from Covid restrictions; face mask industry hopes pet masks will fill the sales void
Posted: 22 July 2020 by leonitbrushnev in UncategorizedHow it all started; Soviet Toothbrush, 1959; “When it comes to musical excellence,” wrote a Kiev Times music critic,” they stop at nothing”; the legend continues in 2020
Posted: 9 May 2020 by leonitbrushnev in Uncategorized
NEWS ALERT: Bernie Sanders proposes nationalizing all U.S. bars and restaurants immediately; the Democrat- Socialist presidential candidate says “the only way to provide equal access to delicious food and booze”; will raise burger flippers pay to $25 an hour; price controls because “Big Macs shouldn’t cost $4”; Sanders says “just a reasonable response to the deadly Coronavirus Pandemic”; Bernie Bros lining up by the thousands at White Castle
Posted: 16 March 2020 by leonitbrushnev in UncategorizedDesperate Democrats seek fresh face to oppose Trump; DNC Chairman Perez considering all options; “It’s time to think outside the box,” says un-named Democrat strategist
Posted: 21 February 2020 by leonitbrushnev in UncategorizedNEWS FLASH: Rock superstar will join Soviet Toothbrush on last leg of their ‘Back to Obscurity’ Tour; famed cowbellist, Pierre Delecto will join the ‘World’s Most Obscure Band’ on stage in Nameless Cove, Newfoundland; Delecto was formerly with the polka/thrash metal band, the Mopes
Posted: 21 October 2019 by leonitbrushnev in UncategorizedROCK ‘N’ ROLL NEWS: Soviet Toothbrush takes off on long-anticipated ‘Back to Obscurity’ Tour launching from Kiev, Ukraine; first stop – Valparaiso, Indiana, USA and the Phi Sigma Kappa fraternity house; thousands of ‘ST’ fans expected to jam the world-famous ‘Ratskeller’ on Sept. 28th; insiders say the security-conscious band is always accompanied on tour by ‘at least one medium tank’; local law enforcement concerned about inflammatory anti-Phi Mu Alpha sentiment erupting among fans
Posted: 25 September 2019 by leonitbrushnev in Uncategorized
NEWS FLASH: Beto O’Rourke demands ‘mandatory buy-back’ or ‘confiscation’ of all Weber charcoal grills; Democrat Presidential candidate attacks the BBQ classic as an ‘assault weapon on the environment’; declares ‘Hell yes we’re going to take your Kingsford!’
Posted: 20 September 2019 by leonitbrushnev in UncategorizedNEWS ALERT: Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker signs bill to fund research center to perfect the ‘marijuana cigarette’; “Pot is legal in our state on January 1,” said Pritzker, “so we want to make sure users consume their stash by rolling an environmentally sensitive, sustainable, politically correct and racially equitable, state-approved joint”; the Joint Commission will research the best rolling papers and bongs with recommendations for legislation; a new hookah division will hire 75 researchers in October
Posted: 12 September 2019 by leonitbrushnev in UncategorizedSHOCK POLL!!! HUBERT HORATIO HUMPHREY DEFEATS DONALD TRUMP 64% TO 36% IN NEW 2020 PRESIDENTIAL POLL; DESPITE DYING IN 1978, THE FORMER SENATOR AND V.P. IS CONSIDERED A FRONT RUNNER IN THE DEMOCRATIC RACE FOR THE NOMINATION; CAMPAIGN IS CONSIDERING KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND FOR VP; SOURCES SAY BIDEN TEAM WORRIED, WANTS ONE-ON-ONE DEBATES
Posted: 29 August 2019 by leonitbrushnev in UncategorizedSurvey was conducted by ‘If True’ Research with 696 respondents and a margin of error of 27 points, plus or minus. ‘If True’ Research is a division of ‘If True’ News – ‘First in Fake News’ and part of the Soviet Toothbrush Family of Industries.